Hawthorn.jpg

Graphic courtesy of Marko Porno



This is the story of the (Unofficial) First Annual Fishin' Mission Golf Tournament, which took place on the 23rd Annual Fishin' Mission (after the faint of heart had headed for home), and was written by The Professor (first person) with editorial comments (in parens) by the Commish. As is the case with all Mission Memories, any resemblance to actual events is likely to be purely coincidental.

The Prof Pontificates

DA PROFESSOR
Morgasm Masters His Domain

MORGASM
Sparky's Ready To Run

SPARKY
The Commish Walks His Beat

THE COMMISH


(If you have the guts, click on the pics above for the full sized version.)



THE PROF:
"I would love to pontificate on the first golf tourney, but I was so drunk I can't remember much, other than, I WON!!! (At his age, he can't remember much SOBER) The weather was about 95, no wind, and only one other foursome on the whole course. The beer was cold and the course even supplied ice chests in each cart, which won't ever happen on any other course in the free freakin' world! (And won't happen again THERE after YOUR conduct)

Morgasm had never played golf in his GD life and he had a blast. Walkbucks has a marvelous set of Taylor Made clubs and irons; unfortunately they're wasted in his incompetent hands. (What the hey... his brother, Here for the Beer, taught him to hit left-handed) Sparky can hit the ball farther than any one I've ever seen, but it's never near a fairway. (It was real close to the freeway though) The cost of this whole tourney was about $22 per man, and that included the beer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (So with The Professor's consumption, golf was about $3.00 each).

The big problem was getting there and back, especially when I'm driving. On the way there, we were stopped by a flag person - I'd do'er - because the Army demolition airheads were destroying old munitions. Half an hour to sit your ass in the road and have some brewskieeeeeeees! That was only the start to a real special day.

After golf, coming back at 90+ MPH in my piece of sh*t suburban, someone (It was YOU Professor) had to pee, so I pulled over. Didn't see the soft shoulder sign (It went by too fast for the blind man drivin'), so I buried the sub in the sand. Sparky saved our collective asses and was able to drive us out, but they still allowed me at the helm at 90! Thats what fried the GD alternator (car repair in Bridgeport - now that's FUN!). You know the rest of the "rag in the gas tank" BS. Thats all I can remember, except WE WILL HAVE A SECOND ANNUAL....TENTATIVELY SCHEDULED FOR TUESDAY! (While a few slugs are still around) It will be a blind draw, best ball, doubles format. First prize is a $50 tab at Rhino's......that would last me about an hour......"


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This page last updated 5-18-03